Pranab Mukherjee's Secret Diary

Dear Diary,

After decades of hard-work I have finally become jobless.There is a sense of excitement in me as I would soon occupy 200+ rooms palace. I had always envied Pratibha’s life, she did nothing in her whole life still lives in the best bunglow of the country. With god’s and Mulayam bhaiya’s grace I think my name plate will soon hang outside that bunglow very soon. The journey was not easy in fact for a day the dream almost appeared impossible because of that womaniya Mamta, but thanks to filled swiss bank accounts of madamji and empty accounts of Mulayam bhaiya, we could over come that nasty womaniya. Infact ab to main sabki "keh ke lunga".

You might think that this might be end of active political career of mine, but I think it was anyways about to end. I know Indian economy could not have been revived because we didn’t had any interest in it. Well it was a tactical move to let the rupee depreciate. It might confuse you but let me explain, with so many scams pioneered by our government and with each one having valuations running in lakhs of crores rupees, we thought this was the only way by which we could save our reputation in international media as now with dollar appreciating, we reduced the size of scam by almost 25% in dollar terms! Moreover I have had lots of dollars with myself which I wanted to liquidate hence I never complained to this scheme. Madamji’s valuation too has increased significantly in rupee terms, thanks to her dollar deposits in swiss accounts. Valuation is very important for Gandhi family because with Rahul baba totally kicked out by Indian voter, he is thinking of making a financial grant to his home country Italy and then with that goodwill try for Italy’s premiership. Rahul had always been attracted by Italian PM’s job description particularly the components added by Mr. Berlusconi. I just hope his dream come true.

Finally I would also get rid of Manmohan. The dude had outsourced the work of speaking to me! That is heights of laziness, instead of him I was forced to address media and parliament on so many issues that we all had collectively screwed up. I am happy that I would get rid of everything. No more unnecessary meetings with bafoons like laloo or stubborn anna hazare. Just chillout in palace, and evening walks in Mugal gardens....juice piyo, khao aur ban jayegi life!

You will hear from me very soon as making diary entry would be the only thing I would be doing.

Pranab